I spent a good portion of my teenagehood believing broken artists were somewhat heroes to be worshipped. But while I, as myself, couldn't be a huge fan of celebrities or aspire fame in the common sense, I often found myself relying on singers who had more psychological problems than actual songs. For example, all my classmates weeped when Gustav Ähr passed away and the only thing I could think of was if I could ever cry the same way if the girls from Warpaint or Chelsea Jade died. It was a weird era in my life but it actually said more about me than I could ever expect it to do so.
Celebrities are the very same thing as you are, the only difference between you, a celebrity and someone you're a huge fan of is how they're activelly selling theirselves for money. While I want to doubt you woulnd't sell yourself for attention (considering all the dangers that come with it) I can understand the jealousy one feels when that one person who's so similar to them in an aspect gets a lot of flowers and admiration for doing something they do every single day, even in better ways. It's a natural feeling humans have, it's compassion. You're feeling like you and the said celebrity are the same but you feel weird for not getting exactly what the target is gaining from doing this one specific thing you love to do.
I know someone, or something, popped on your head when I described what fame is based on, and I can assure you that you're not alone by feeling what you felt. But if you want me to be fair with you, these people aren't exposing their bad days, their failures, anywhere. They make it feel like everything is perfect on their end so then you can invest that "They're Amazing" thought on them while making you strive for the things society has described as perfect. That's the whole point of being famous. It's playing cool enough to be seen as an idol of some sorts so people can eventually mirror your actions, increasing your ego and money over time.
One of my biggest teenagehood heroes (believe it or not) was Sadie Pinn. That girl from the UK who had a band with Rou Rot. She was an absolute icon in my eyes because of how many ways she could express herself through music and modeling. Something inside of my heart always told me she wasn't everything I was idealizing, but I coulnd't ever name that feeling correctly. And another person I could mention is Travis Miller from Virginia (Vudmurk, Lil Ugly Mane, Yung Gus, ETC) wich is another great artist I recommend y'all to give a chance to. I always had a good place for them inside of my soul, but at some extent, it's undeniable that they're just humans making sense of their own reality through the instruments they've either given theirselves or received from other people who once aspired to be artists. It happens naturally for some and artificially for others who cannot point fingers enough to prove that everyone on spotify top 100 isn't faking fame.
I could mention a hundred other artists I once thought were real heroes and martyrs. I could spend a day doing so, but all of these names you'd read on your screen would be meaningless once I said "a broken compass cannot guide anyone". Because, half the humans on planet earth are broken compasses, no matter how much they want to tell you they've healed from their personal problems. They're on a constant struggle to make ends meet and somehow you still lie to yourself that all these people who decide to make music about pain instead of seeking alternative ways to heal theirselves are your heroes. How could they save you from something they're perpetuating? Are you blind or are you just that misguided in life that you hate people who are actually making a good chance on the planet earth for everyone? Ask yourself this.
In the end of the day, someone you're idolizing, most probably doesn't want the attention they're getting. Often times, they wish they didn't release that one song, or say that one specific thing that caused an avalanche of nerds who think they're deep. The only thing that forces them to not stop doing what they're doing is the peer pressure that tells them the songs they've made on a rush now describes their entire existence and that there is no running from it. Try to think what would happen if they were honest enough to tell their followers that they're giving up on perpetuating a cycle of soul-torturing actions.